Little Bitty Things Make a Thankful Heart

I thought I would share a list of little bitty things that I am thankful for tonight. So, in no particular order, here they are:

1. Making it home safely tonight: A sure sign of my age, but my level of anxiety while driving home in the pouring rain in the middle of the night was unbelievable!
2. Sleeping in my own bed: Just a sense of happiness being back home and less chance of waking with a stiff back in the morning - again, another sign of age. Hmmm.
3. My mom's comment that Aiden's new school is doing him good: Yes! He's doing so much better. I'm glad that others (and myself) recognize this!
4. My dad's biscuits this morning: I think that means that he liked our adventure. They were delicious!
5. The Children's Ministries meeting last Thursday: Each week I'm reminded more and more how happy I am that we have finally found a church and are becoming more involved.
6. A good weekend with my parents: This is not small, but it means a lot!
7. Cooler weather! No A/C. Cheaper utility bills (hopefully).
8. Blogging: Despite my initial concerns about blogging, I've found it very addictive. It's been a while since I've written anything other than dictation for case files. It's a nice change of pace.
9. Sleep... I'm exhausted and I figure if I can fall asleep right now, I have a full 7 hours before having to be up in the morning. Sleep.... Ah, to dream.
10. And of course, you can't end a list like this without being thanksful for your husband, son, family, and friends! But I do mean it!

Birthday Biscuits for Poppy

It was a slightly belated birthday gift to my dad but well worth the wait - Saturday, we spent the morning in a southern biscuit making class through Southern Seasons. What can I say? I absolutely loved it. I left feeling so empowered, like I could conquer the world or at least biscuitville (not the store... just the land of biscuits).

The instructors walked us through making all of the southern favorites - sausage gravy, jam and grits. Then came the grand finale - two different styles of homemade biscuits, both old family recipes. Amazing... And I have recipes to boot - Feel free to email me if you're interested. I can't believe how easy they are!

The Birthday Boy

Biscuits & Jam

Man, I love carbs!

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday Savannah!

Wow, 1 already?! This year has flown by. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were all sitting around the waiting room for your arrival. You are a beautiful child. I hope this birthday, and the many more to follow, are filled with joy and happiness always!

With all our love,

Jenny, Jamie & Aiden

It's Not You, It's Me

[Advisory: I've debated creating another blog for these types of post. But here's the deal - this is me. Sure, I wanna share the cute stories (they are cute, aren't they?) and pictures of the family, but I want to write about the real things and not the postcard picture of my life. So, I'm laying it all out on one blog - the good, the bad, and the shameless because that's how I roll. ...ugh, never thought I'd actually say that...]

Two weeks ago, we began a small group study with our church. I have hopes of building ties and connections, making the church our home. It's been a good experience, as I'm not sure if I've ever been involved in any type of Bible study since the days of Sunday School. However, I spend a great deal of the time feeling inadequate in my Biblical knowledge and even in my faith.

We are studying 1 John. And the question has been posed: Am I Enough For You? Is God enough for us? Enough that we can put our complete faith in him, letting go of all else. But it's hard to let go - To take that step to release it all to him, to trust, to know what you are letting go to, to let him carry you.

Am I there? Nooo. Even people who are must still struggle to let him lead. Just as humans (or maybe Americans), it's our nature to lead, to want power, control to set our destiny. But it's greater than us.

But the question has been weighing on my mind. Am I Enough For You? ... Am. I. enough. for. you? It occurred to me tonight that the reason this has bothered me so much is because to me, it's not a matter of whether He is enough for me, but am I enough for him? Am I worthy of such love? Is my life worthy of that type of unconditional, never ending love? Do I deserve love like that?

In most, ...no all... areas of my life, I question this daily. Am I enough as a Wife? Mother? Daughter? Sister? Friend? Worker? And the doubt does not stop there.

So God, it's not you, it's me. But you're not the only one I'm failing. I feel as though I fail my family, my husband, my son, my friends, myself. But why? Or how? Why do I fail myself? How do I change what and who I am?

Recently, I read the lyrics of a song, Beautiful by Bethany Dillon.

I want to be beautiful

Make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart,

and be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who I am is quite enough

Just want to be worthy of love

And beautiful

Doesn't a part of you just want to know that for once who you are and what you do IS enough. If you could just hear these words from your mom, husband, child... If you could just hear these words and believe them. If you could tell this to yourself and know it to be true. In the end, the one thing I must accept is that God loves me as I am now, that I am enough for him. But that seems so difficult to accept when the rest of the world feels out of whack.

And I'll leave you with the last verse of the song and a little You Tube action.

You make me beautiful

You make me stand in awe

You step inside my heart,

and I am amazed

I love to hear You say

Who I am is quite enough

You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Switches

Tonight after dinner, Jamie and I were sitting around the table chatting while Aiden was beating the mess out of his toy guitar/violin. Here's how the conversation went:

Aiden: Can I have an after dinner snack for eating all of my food?
Me: No
Aiden: Don't make me spank you with a switch.
(okay, where did he get that from? Never in my like have I made a statement like that to him! But he did say it in good fun)
Jamie: You don't even know what a switch is.
Aiden: Uh huh. You turn it on and off like this. Off went the lights.

Okay, maybe it's one of those 'you had to be there' things. But we laughed for the longest time.