Doodling Antic: Working Mom Turning 5

If you thought 30 was hard (I'm only using that as an example, of course... I wouldn't know anything at all about that...), then you should try having your only child turn 5. Yes, I still have more than a month to go, but this has been weighing on me for months now. I'm having serious issues here - Don't worry, I'll only address one tonight. It's not just that he's going to be 5, but that 5 is also a reflection on me as well.

Where has the time gone? I sound like my mom saying that (hi, gigi) but it's true. I feel like I've missed out on so many things over the last 5 years while I've been doing the full time working thing. No, it wasn't a choice in our household but a necessity and remains to be so. Each day, Aiden comes home with great new things that he's learning. Don't get me wrong, I'm am excited that he's learning so much. He's brilliant and I'm glad that the center is challenging him in this way. But there is a huge part of me that wanted to be the one to teach him to write his name, count to 100, or even to sing the Noah song (The floody floody one... Do you know the tune? Why should Aiden have been so surprised that I did?)

In some ways, I feel that I contribute so little to his world and that saddens me. But lets face it, I wake him, then don't see him again till dinner time when I'm slaving over a hot meal (okay, sometimes it's hot...), then there's bath, book, and bed. I have such a big responsibility and role but yet I'm limited to what 3 good hours a day? While at the same time I'm expected to cook, clean, pay bills, maintain relationships with friends and family, and so on. How do you do it all? I know, I know... You can't. You have to learn to let go of somethings. But lets be realistic for second, which one I am I suppose to let go of? Cleaning? No, I see how you look at me when you come over and the house is trash, again. Cooking? Yeah, maybe. But aren't I suppose to provide nutritious meals for my family and try to instill good eating habits and save him from all evil contaminates of plastic and processed food. And besides, I know what you're going to think if my kid turns out to be porky. You'll think Man, she let him eat too much fast food and candy.

You get the idea. Everyone says to let it go but there's still the expectation and essentially the responsibility falls to you, the mom. So, at 5 (because it's kinda my birthday too as a mom), I still don't have the hang of it. I know what I'm doing wrong, but not the way to do it right. The question remains: How Do You Do It All?

Having said all of this, I also know your wishing I had given up whining for a New Year's Resolution! But there are just some things you're just naturally good at.

But for a change of pace, I found a few old pics to share...