You don't get much more southern or small town than the yearly Collard Festival. Yes, it even comes with its very own Collard Queen. Wouldn't you love to put that on your resume?
I know what you're thinking... Before 9 years ago, I couldn't have told you what a collard was either. The best way I can describe it is that it is a green leafy vegetable that stinks up your entire house when you cook it. It's mashed up kinda like the spinach flavored baby food and always tastes a little better after the first frost of the year. I can't truly vouch for the taste part. It's an acquired thing, that I'm still working to acquire. But according to the MIL, it's a staple around any holiday.
So, what brings me to this fine discussion of the collard? As you may know (as I'm sure you do, right?), this year's Collard Festival was rained out by a hurricane. Luck for us, the parade was rescheduled for today.
I love a small town festival, don't get me wrong, and don't go spreading the word that I'm a collard basher. Because I love my itsy bitsy teeny weenie scoop I add to my plate every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. But today's event was rather trying for me.
We arrived early for the festivities (I use that word loosely). We were able to watch a Taekwondo exhibit where the instruction actually said "We'll put our foot against your head to knock you out" to a group of overly active 4-9 year olds - just what I'd want Aiden coming home from class saying to me... Lunch was surprisingly nice at downtown grill once we were able to coerce Aiden to watch some You Tube on Jamie's phone. He's been awfully whiney today. I blame it on being up much too late these last few nights. But he's been like an insomniac lately!
Following lunch we walked down to a friend's home expecting to meet Jamie's mom there and watch the parade as it was about to start. About three seconds into the 6 block walk, I hear "I have to go peeeeee." Great... spending up the pace a little. Everyone we pass is heading the other direction. Jamie, are you sure the parade's coming by here? We arrive, no one is there, not even Jamie's mom. So we turn and walk back, the same six blocks still having to go 'peeeeee.' Make it back in time to see the band marching by. Rush to a bathroom (cough, ugh, don't touch anything, hot, stinky, yuck, wanna go home feeling coming over me). We rush out just in time to see the entire crowd turning to leave.
Luckily as we're trucking back to our car, we're able to catch the tail end of the parade - the band again, imagine that. But Aiden struck gold with some candy thrown out by - yep, you guessed it - The Collard Queen and her friends the Turnip Queen and Brussel Sprout Princess. (Yes, I made these up. Some of you aren't going to believe me about the Collard Queen, so I don't want to confuse you with the other queens, I assure you they were there, but I don't know their proper titles).
So, that was our day. Nope, there are no pictures. For one, I forgot my camera and technically, we missed the parade, so what was I suppose to take pictures of?
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